Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!
(One week until Festivus, guys!)
Um, ok, so I’m examining the hypothetical logistics of going to Coachella next year and - apart from the fact that I have no friends to go with - the logistics look REALLY promising. I’m about to die of hypothetical excitement.
I quite like the original version of Candle in the Wind. The lyrics are, at times, quite awkward and literal - for instance:
Even when you died,
The press still hounded you –
All the papers had to say
Was that Marilyn was found in the nude.
I don’t know why I find that such an endearing quality with respect to Candle in the Wind (I probably wouldn’t for most other songs). Just the genius of Elton & Bernie, I suppose.
There is a new song on Top 40 radio right now that’s so good I want to kill myself. I’m not sure why exceptionally good hip-hop singles make me want to commit suicide, but they often do. I don’t know what the title of the song is, but it’s that religious woman with the perfect stomach from Destiny’s Child and Jay-Z doing a duet featuring a horn riff from the ’70s that I’ve never heard before (but that sounds completely familiar), and the chorus is something along the lines of, “Your love is driving me crazy right now/ I’m kind of hoping you’ll page me right now.” It’s also possible that Jay-Z compares himself to Golden State Warriors guard Nick Van Exel during the last verse, but I can’t be positive.
ANYWAY, by the time you read this sentence, the song I am referring to will be ten thousand years old. You will have heard it approximately 15,000 times, and you might hate it, and I might hate it, too. But right now — today — I am living for this song. As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing that matters as much as hearing it on the radio; I am interested in nothing beyond Beyonce Knowles’s voice. All I do is scan the FM dial for hours at a time, trying to find it.
Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live
Today, I heard Crazy in Love and felt compelled to revisit one of my favourite passages from Killing Yourself to Live.